Dowry System: Can Tradition Evolve?

Two days ago, I visited my inspiring CA, Arunbhai Vachrajani, in Bhuj. We discussed my desire to save for my daughters' futures, including dowries – a common practice in our Marwari community.

Arunbhai's perspective was refreshing. I confessed my worries about saving for dowries, explaining, "I'm a salaried person, with no pension. I need to plan for their education and future security, and that includes dowry – it's just how things are done."

Arunbhai surprised me. He gently challenged this notion. "Why dowry?" he asked. "Do you think this system will even exist in 15-20 years?"

His question hung in the air. I stammered, unsure. "Honestly, I don't know, but dowry is such a big part of our tradition. Marwari weddings can involve huge sums!"

Arunbhai held my gaze. "Tell me, how much have you saved so far?" The number felt insignificant compared to the dowry expectations I'd heard about.

"That's beside the point," Arunbhai continued, "Focus on their education. Empower them with knowledge and skills. Let them decide their own paths – education, careers, marriage. When they're strong and independent, the question of dowry won't even arise."

His words struck a chord. Here was a respected elder, a pillar of our community, advocating for a different approach. It sparked a debate within me.

A Tradition in Question:

Many people, including some close friends, believe the dowry system is here to stay. Stories from relatives highlight the ongoing pressure to pay hefty dowries, even in love marriages. This worries me. As a father, would I succumb to such demands if my daughters faced them? It's a tough call.

Why Does Dowry Exist?

An article I found sheds light on the reasons behind dowry:

• Son Preference: In patriarchal societies, sons are seen as providing for parents in old age, while daughters leave upon marriage.
• Limited Opportunities: Traditionally, women have limited economic power, making them reliant on husbands' families.
• Control Mechanisms: Dowry and restrictions on women's freedom (purdah) reinforce patriarchal dominance.

A Glimmer of Hope?

Change might be slow, but there are signs of progress, echoing Arunbhai's optimism:

• Education for Girls: Empowering women through education challenges traditional gender roles.
• Shifting Norms: Love marriages and women's careers could lessen the pressure of dowry.

The Path Forward:

• Equal Rights: Granting daughters equal inheritance rights and opportunities is crucial.
• Valuing Daughters: We need to see daughters as individuals with potential, not financial burdens.
• Collective Effort: This societal shift requires ongoing conversation and action.

The Conversation Continues:

Arunbhai's advice resonated deeply. Educating my daughters is an investment in their future, and mine. Perhaps dowries won't be necessary if they can build their own secure lives.

What do you think? Can traditions like dowry evolve alongside societal progress? How can we ensure girls are valued for who they are, not what they bring materially?